


The Flaws of Fate

by ubiquitousness



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, M/M, Modern Era, but i might throw some in there, not a threesome
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-04-18
Updated: 2015-05-28
Packaged: 2017-11-03 20:48:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/385780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ubiquitousness/pseuds/ubiquitousness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin had a good life, and he was always thankful. He would not have given it back for the world. But, the good life was beginning to get a bit boring, and he needed something new, something shiny and brilliant. Yet, when this new gem steps into his life, he didn't intend to get the million dollar price, and the baggage the lottery gave with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Easy to Please

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. 
> 
> **Warnings** : Scenes of abuse, drug use, Modern AU, small depression states, and a bit of fluff. No magic, well, magical powers. Also, this story is from the point of views of Arthur, Merlin, and Morgana.

"Merlin?" a rough voice asked from behind him in the dark room. The sunlight was shining through the crack in the curtain, but only enough for Merlin to see out into the street below without waking the sleeping beauty. The sun was only making it daily debut outside and it was still too early for many people to be up but Merlin liked it as such. The quiet before the storm; a nice time to reflect on the world without having to hide any emotions that might appear on his face. It was the only time he truly had to himself, with his busy days and all.

"Merlin?" the voice said again, a bit more clear this time. Merlin quickly turned his head to the source of the voice and looked at the man sitting up in bed. His blonde hair was sticking up at the top, a few pieces going every which-way. His eyes shone bright blue in the dark room, but slightly clouded over from just waking up. Merlin could see his defined abs as Arthur never slept with a shirt on. He had told Merlin once, when he asked, that the feeling of being wrapped in something so close to him in his sleep made him feel like being suffocated, but Merlin didn't fully believe that. 

"Yes?" Merlin asked softly, returning his gaze at the people roaming the streets. They were always up this early, running their daily workouts or preparing the streets for the late-wakers. It was one of the normal activities Merlin had learned to appreciate from the people in the big city.

"Are you always up this early, staring out the window?" Arthur asked, rubbing his eyes, almost to a point where it seemed as if he would make himself blind.

"Yes, Arthur," Merlin said with a small hidden smile.

"Why the hell would you do that?"

Merlin thought for a moment. He knew exactly why he did it, but putting his thoughts and feeling into words was something he was never good at.

"It is simply a peaceful moment I enjoy," he decided.

"Well, _alrighty then_. Is coffee ready?" 

"Yes."

"Great," Arthur said, moving out of the bed and stretching his muscles. He extended his arms above his head and bend backwards to stretch his back and his legs. He made a weird humming noise, sort of a growl, while he did so which made Merlin laugh.

"What is so funny, _Mer_ lin?" 

"Nothing," Merlin said moving quickly to place a gentle kiss on Arthur's forehead before retreating into the bathroom. 

"Nothing my arse," Arthur retorted moving into the closet to choose his attire for the day. 

It was nearly a half hour later when both men were dapper and had to-go mugs in their hands, Arthur with coffee and Merlin with tea. Nothing much had changed since they started dating. 

"Ready?" Arthur asked, opening the door.

"Yep," Merlin said as he walking through the door with a gentle smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Good morning Mr. Emrys. You have four messages-"

"And they can wait till later, right?" Merlin asked Rosa as he made his way into the store.

Rosa was only 19, having chose not to finish all of her schooling. She had come into the store one day, and knocked over a shelf of books. Before Merlin could help her, she had put all of the books back on the shelf - _in alphabetical order_. Merlin gave her a job on the spot. It wasn't something Merlin usually did, but she was different from the rest; he just couldn't figure out why. Not that different was a bad thing, or something he had loads of time to think about.

"Yes sir."

Merlin watched as she walked back to the front desk of the store. The desk was circular, large, and made of dark wood polished so no customers or employees endured splinters or other cuts when rubbing their hands against it. There were two cash registers on either side of the circle, giving enough room to greet and help the people searching for the next adventure of their life.

This was what Merlin wanted; to have the next great adventure in his life. It was part of the reason he opened a book store; to get some kind of adventure. The place was lined wall to wall, ceiling to floor, with books. Most of them were rarely found in the grand city, so if someone was searching for a book not seen in decades, they were likely to come here. It was something Merlin was good at, finding those rare books and putting them in places people could find, along with many other adventures they could journey into. 

The phone at the front desk rang as Merlin made his way to the back of the store where his office was.

"Hello, this is Rosa. Thank you for calling Lines of Adventures. How may I help you?" Merlin heard Rosa say in a professional yet inviting manner. There was a reason he hired her, and her likability was part of it. 

Merlin's office was small, but incredibly comfortable and manageable. When you walked through the wooden door, you saw the desk, neat and proper. To both the right and left were windows, large enough to see a few different buildings out on the streets. There were curtains, of course, because Merlin didn't know when a certain blonde would show up during these late hours he worked on occasion. There was not much else to the room except a few book cases of his personal books and a fridge to keep a variety of objects, not all edible. As plain as it was, it was perfect for Merlin because he knew that if there was anything different about the office, it wouldn't be his. 

Merlin had not been settled in his office for thirty minutes doing paper work when there was a sharp knock on his door.

"Come in," Merlin said looking under his eyelashes at Rosa coming through the door.

"I have come to give you the messages from the weekend, Mr. Emrys," she said politely, laying down the papers on the desk. 

"Thank you, Rosa," Merlin said as Rosa turned to walk out the office. "Oh, and Rosa?"

"Yes?"

"You don't have to call me Mr. Emrys. I really prefer Merlin, if you please."

"Of course, I'm sorry, Mr. Em- Merlin," she said shyly before scurrying back onto the main floor greeting the customers that walked through with a cheery sentence.

Merlin sighed and looked at the papers the young woman had placed on his desk. He knew they were important, but he couldn't find it in him to go through them at the moment, so he gathered them up and set them to the side to look through later.

He sighed once again before returning back to the budget and other stuff that had to paid; the most annoying, time consuming, and tiresome task anyone could think to do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Arthur! Think before you kick! Gosh, you are looking better out there!" 

He didn't know why he was looking 'better' at something he just did wrong, but he didn't question it. It was never a good idea to question a coach on a bad day. That was something universally known, and was greatly frowned upon. 

"Arthur?" he heard a voice say from the sidelines, quiet, but heard. He couldn't turn to see who had called him, but he had a guess it was Merlin coming to get him for lunch. Only Merlin could speak that low and be so clear on a giant field. 

"Five more minutes, gentlemen! Keep up the good work!" the coach yelled from the opposite sideline of Merlin. His shout echoed through the area, giving the illusion that it did not need to be shouted at all.

The five minutes passed quickly for Arthur, who was kept busy by focusing on his teammates and the ball. He figured it was a little more dragged out for Merlin, who only had a book and his music to pass the time. Merlin always said he was wrong; that time passed quicker for Merlin with his book, but Arthur believed that the physical activity he put up with was a far better use of his time and made time go by quicker than a squirrel chasing after a nut. But, he rarely brought it up because he could tell it made Merlin mad - though he didn't know why. A pissed off Merlin was almost as bad as a pissed off coach.

"See you tomorrow, gentlemen. Get lots of rest for we only have two more practices before the next game!" the coach yelled before making his way to his office across the hall from the locker room. Before Arthur made his way over to the locker rooms, he walked over to Merlin, sitting on the ground with his legs crossed, ear buds in and a book open in his hands. 

"Merlin?" Arthur said, looking down at the man so engrossed in his new 'adventure.' 

"Merlin?" he tried again, a bit louder and kicking the bottom of his shoe. Merlin looked up and smiled before turning his music off and marking his spot in the book.

"Hey," Merlin said standing up besides Arthur. "Ready?"

"You really don't pay attention to anything when you read, do you?" Arthur asked with a smile as they started to walk across the field in the direction of the locker room.

"Not really,"

"Well, to answer your question, practice _just_ ended. I have to go change, and then I will be ready. Gonna wait outside of the rooms?" 

"Yeah. I'll just be reading 'til you get out."

"I don't think it will take me long enough for you start reading again," Arthur said as Merlin gave him a look that said _'nothing is crazier than that statement.'_ "Right, read on. I'll be back."

Arthur gave Merlin a quick kiss on his cheek before dashing off to get ready for lunch. Before he walked through the door, he looked back at Merlin and saw him sitting against the wall, book already open. Arthur sighed and walked on with a smile. His Merlin was quite predictable when it came to reading, or anything for that matter.

"Hey, Arthur?" a voice said from behind him. It was the one teammate he hardly ever talked to off the field, but he was a friendly enough bloke if you asked Arthur. 

"Hey Nate. What's up?" Arthur responded as he moved to his locker and began to get ready.

"What are you doing for lunch? Some of the guys are going to that new place a few blocks away and we were hoping you would join us," he said, leaning with one shoulder against the locker.

As much as he wanted to try the new place, Arthur always had lunch with Merlin on Mondays. It was their thing, and he quite enjoyed it. 

"I would love to go and all but-"

"You have a date with that dude," he said shaking his head and standing up right. "Well, you know where we will be if you decide to ditch the bookworm and have some real fun."

"First off, he is my boyfriend. Secondly, what are you trying to say?" Arthur asked.

"I'm not trying to say anything man, it just doesn't seem like he is an outgoing person, and I know personally that you are very outgoing. Seems like an odd fit. But, it isn't for me to judge. So, see ya tomorrow dude."

"Then why _did you_ just judge my relationship? You don't know anything about me nor my relationship!" Arthur yelled back to the disappearing man.

"I only said what was on everybody's mind, Arthur. Have a nice afternoon."

And with that the man was gone and Arthur was slightly fuming. It took him a good minute or so to collect his emotions and calm his nerves before he finished gathering his belongings and made his way back to Merlin.

"Ready, Merlin?"

Merlin quickly got up and tuck his book away before a smile and a nod.

"Where do you want to go today?" Arthur roughly gripping Merlin's hand, pulling him along until he was in sync with Arthur's step. Arthur ignored the puzzled look on Merlin's face as the lights through out the hall went out and they could only see the brilliant sunlight on either end. 

"I was thinking maybe that new place a few blocks from here, if you want to?" 

"Maybe next week. I was thinking our usual for today."

"Alright, sounds like a plan to me," Merlin said, a huge grin across his face. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Merlin was incredibly happy today. He was currently walking to their usual lunch spot, hand in hand with Arthur. Even though it was incredibly awkward at first, Merlin realized that it was possible this would never happen again, so he will enjoy it while it lasts. 

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Arthur look over and turn back to the sidewalk with a smile.

"What's with that smile?" Merlin asked.

"Your smile is very contagious," Arthur said as if all he ever did was smile. "Why are _you_ smiling like that?"

"You-," he started. As soon as he said something, Arthur would notice and then stop and it would never happen again. "It's nothing."

"A smile like that isn't nothing, Merlin," he said with a light bump, shoulder to shoulder. 

"It's nothing, really," Merlin answered

" _Mer_ lin," Arthur pressed on.

"Yes?" 

"Tell me before I _make_ you tell me."

"Oh look, we're here!" Merlin excitedly announced as he let go of Arthur's hand and failed to notice that Arthur looked down at where Merlin's hand was intertwined with his own before he followed the jumpy man. 

"Hello Merlin, Arthur! Would you like your usual?" Meredith greeted from behind the counter. She was a rather old lady who owned the little restaurant. For the past few years the two had been coming there for lunch, and they absolutely love it. It would have been sad if she didn't know their names.

"Usual?" Merlin asked Arthur as he slid into their usual booth on his usual side and watched Arthur slide into his own side.

"Yep."

"The usual Mere!" Merlin yelled fixating his eyes back on Arthur who was looking at him with a smile, something he still wasn't quite used to seeing.

"What?" Merlin asked with his own smile. 

"I know why you were smiling that dorky smile of yours," Arthur explained.

"And why is that?"

"I never hold your hand, at least not for this long in public. I guess I never realized that until now."

"Such the little observant prat you are, Arthur," Merlin said with a failing smirk.

"I'm right, though, and you know it."

"You are never wrong in your eyes Arthur, even when you aren't right."

"Talking in riddles like always, are we Merlin?" Meredith announced with the arrival of the food.

"It is never ending, it seems like," Arthur agreed. 

"Very funny," Merlin responded to the two before speaking directly to Meredith. "Thank you, Mere."

"Such a little sore sport you are, Merlin," Arthur retorted before giving his own thanks to Meredith.

"I can't help it that you are not smart enough to understand the wording of the sentences I choice to speak," Merlin said behind a bit of his food.

"It isn't that I don't understand it. It's that we both know you talk in riddles, and they would go very well in a book rather than coming out of your mouth," Arthur stated behind a bite of his own food. "There is other stuff that should be in your mouth."

"Who's to say they aren't from a book?" Merlin asked ignoring the comment Arthur made with a wink.

"Because you always say where they are from if it _is_ a reference."

"He's right you know!" Merlin heard Meredith yell from behind the counter.

"See? Meredith agrees with me! Why can't you?" 

"We have been over this before Arthur. Putting my adventures and dreams into a book isn't going to sell. I would rather read the adventures of others."

"I think it would sell if you just give it a try," Arthur whispered to himself more than to anyone letting the topic drop, because Merlin always gave the same response. 

Merlin made quick glances at Arthur throughout their rather quiet lunch. It was always quiet after they got their food with little comments here and there. It was one of the many things Merlin had gotten a bit _too_ used to. He loved it, without a doubt, but it was something he wished would change a bit. Change was always good, and Merlin liked change here and there. But, lately things had been...too steady and everything was set. 

"You're thinking too much," Arthur concluded bringing Merlin out of his thoughts.

"Why would you say that?" 

"You only ever glance at me while we eat. But, when you are in deep moments of thought, you stare."

Merlin smiled largely inside his mind, but only let out a small one.

"Yes, I was thinking. How is it you know me so well?"

"I am a little observant prat, as you say I am."

"So, I was right!" 

"You are never wrong, but you are not always right," Arthur said with a big smile before he got up to pay for the meal. Merlin smiled to himself and finished his last bite on his plate before grabbing Arthur's stuff onto his shoulders and walking towards the door to wait on Arthur. That was when a lady and little boy walked in.

"Excuse me," the lady said in one of the sweetest voices he had ever heard. The lady had black hair that was tied back into a bun, and she was only a few inches shorter than himself. She had a pale skin tone, but against the black of her hair it worked quite beautifully. The boy looked to be only about six or so, but he looked almost identical to the woman. The only difference between them were their eyes - the lady had blue eyes while the boy had dark brown as far as Merlin could see. He wasn't sure how old the lady was, but she could not have been over 25. She looked like an angel.

"Of course, sorry," Merlin said, gathering his composure and moving out of the way.

"It is quite alright," she voiced before making her way to the table that was behind the one he had been at. Within seconds Arthur made his way back to Merlin, practically dragging him out the door.

"Who was that?" Arthur asked, taking Merlin's hand.

"I don't know," Merlin truthfully whispered.

"Anyways, do you have the rest of the day off?" Arthur asked.

"No, I really should be going back."

"Great! Call Rosa and tell her that you are taking the rest of the day off and to lock up when she leaves."

"Arthur, I just said-"

"Nope. You are taking the rest of the day off. Come on," Arthur lightly screamed at Merlin, dragging him in the direction of the shops and places to visit in town. 

"Oh, alright."

Merlin usually gave in quite easily, but right now there was something that told him he should be getting back to work. He reluctantly let it go and allowed Arthur to drag him where ever he was going, ignoring the nagging voice in his head.


	2. Bad Things Happen When Loud Things Ring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin regrets letting Arthur talking him into taking taking the day off, Arthur regrets letting his students talk him into things, and Morgana regrets letting her son let her sleep longer.

Merlin got up early the next morning. He was anxious to get to work. Not because he loved his job - which he did - but because he had an odd feeling that something big was going to happen. Something huge, like an increased amount of business, or a new book supply, or maybe even meeting someone famous who just so happened to cross the raggedy little book store on the corner. Anything was possible at Merlin's bookstore, or so he liked to believe. So, he got up early and left the house before he had to the chance to speak to Arthur; he was sure that Arthur had some other plan to go lolly-gagging throughout the city again today. It simply was not on Merlin's agenda for the week. 

Merlin got to the store a good forty minutes before Rosa usually got there. He didn't know what to do with himself, because he never got to work early. Or on time, for that matter. So, he did the only thing he could think to do; he went through the notes and messages that he had received from the weekend. He didn't have a chance to look through them yesterday because a certain blue-eyed blonde had other plans for Merlin's time. 

There was a shipment of books coming in from the other side of the country on Wednesday, a girl named Chelsea was looking for a book - Homeless Bird by Gloria Whelan - needing it by the end of the week, and there was a person who was hoping to set up an interview for a job. Interesting stuff, but not interesting enough to have worried about it all day yesterday.

Merlin looked at the clock and noticed it was only seven in the morning. He definitely got up too early, and would rethink this decision later when it was ten at night and Arthur wanted to semi-violently have sex with Merlin. Yep, Merlin was in a for a long day. Merlin quickly got to work anyways. He set up the shipment room for the new books, he found Homeless Bird leaving a message for Chelsea at the number she left, and he called and set up an interview for two o'clock that day for the young lady who had asked for one. He cleaned his office, set up the rest of the shop for the upcoming day, and was making a second pot of coffee when Rosa walked in through the front door. 

"Good morning, Rosa," Merlin called happily out to the yawning girl.

"What are you doing here so early, Merlin? You are not due in for another hour and a half," she replied filing back to where Merlin was to put her stuff away and to grab a cup of coffee that Merlin had set out for her. She wasn't a morning person, but Merlin found most bookstore workers were not. 

"I had trouble sleeping and decided to come in to work early and get things ready for the shipment and stuff. I _am_ allowed to come into work early sometimes, you know."

"Of course, I just never would have thought you would be here at seven-thirty in the morning."

"I have been here for over an hour, if you could believe it," Merlin responded.

"There are many things in the world I don't believe in, but you getting here at six-thirty in the bloody morning is not one of them."

"Well anyways, everything is set for the beginning of the day. The backroom is set up for the shipment coming in tomorrow in case we get it early, and I have an interview at two. I will be taking an early lunch around eleven-thirty so you can take my lunch time and I will run the store then, if you want."

"Sounds great, Merlin. Have you ever thought about coming into work early all the time?" Rosa asked, finishing off her coffee and putting her name tag on with a smirk.

"I used to, but then I hired you," Merlin replied cheekily. 

"I see how it is," she grinned before she made her way back out to the main floor. Merlin had an uncanny need to keep her around. She would be valuable one day. He could feel it. But, he didn't know from where. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arthur woke up at 7, his alarm blaring. Which was a problem for multiple reasons. First, he never had an alarm on because Merlin usually woke him up. And second, the alarm was set which must have meant that Merlin wasn't there. Merlin was always there, looking out that window when Arthur woke up. Arthur always pretended not to be staring at the lovely long back of Merlin's that finished at the top of a fairly delicious and plump ass for someone as skinny as Merlin and ended at the beginning of legs that went on for forever. 

Merlin was in fact gone, Arthur found, as he moved his hand over the other side of the bed. Curious, Merlin was never out of the house before Arthur woke up. Or he was before he hired that one girl, but that had been five months ago. 

Arthur got up and was dressed, grabbing the mug that was on the counter before heading out. The mug was warm, which meant that Merlin had left less than thirty minutes ago. He took off in the car out front - which they rarely used - and drove to the high school. He was a teacher there every day, except Mondays and Fridays which were early morning practice days. Good set up for him, and he rather enjoyed it. 

He pulled into the back parking lot and sat there for a few minutes. He didn't know why, but he felt that something big was going to happen today. Whether it be at the school, with himself, or with Merlin, something big was going to happen. He could just tell, and usually his instincts were right. 

There was a knock on his window that shook him out of his thoughts. He turned and saw one of his students, Macy. She had a smile on her face, but he could tell that she was highly concerned with her teacher sitting in the car staring at nothing. Apparently, most teachers hid their distress quite well. Arthur was not one of those teachers.

He got his stuff and got out of the car to find that Macy was still waiting on him.

"Good morning, Macy," he said, trying to be cheerful, knowing he didn't succeed.

"Good morning, Mr. Pendragon. How are you today?" Well, she sure was cheery. Perhaps enough for the both of them.

"I am well enough. And yourself?"

"I'm pretty good for it being seven thirty in the morning," she replied jumpily.

"I can see that," Arthur said with a small laugh and a smile. The kids here always knew how to make his day a little better, and it was starting early. 

"What's the plan for today, Mr. Pendragon?"

Arthur thought for a minute. He was too worked up yesterday over everything and he forgot to set up a lesson plan. Well, fuck.

"Actually, I was thinking we could just watch a movie. I didn't exactly have time to set up a lesson, but I figured we would just do double time one day."

"Can I pick the movie?" _Macy sure was excited for nothing._

"Sure, I guess. What did you have in mind?" Arthur asked. He wasn't going to say no to his top student. 

"Well, I was thinking either The Avengers, Mean Girls, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, or Pocahontas." 

_"All good movies," Arthur thought._

"Well, The Avengers is still in theaters, Mean Girls is probably inappropriate to show at school, the Holy Grail isn't on Netflix, and neither is Pocahontas," Arthur reasoned.

"I am sure the principal would allow us to take a trip to the theater if you asked nicely," Macy offered, batting her eyelashes at him. Which frankly was funny to him, but she had been doing it all year. It was old news to him.

As they arrive to the classroom, 2117, Arthur opens the door for Macy who steps through looking back at Arthur with pleading eyes. 

"I don't think he would allow that, especially on such short notice." 

"I could talk to him, if you want," she offered. Those damned batting eye lashes again.

"If you want to try, go right on ahead."

Before Arthur knew it, Macy had her phone out, had dialed one number - one! - and was saying "Hi Daddy," into the phone. He was confused for two seconds before it registered in his brain that his star pupil, favorite student if he admitted it out loud, and the ridiculously popular kid in school was the spawn of the principal. It all fell together somehow.

"Can Mr. Pendragon's first period class take a field trip?" Beat. "To the movie theater." Beat. "The Avengers." Beat. "Yes, I figured you would pay for the class." Beat. "We can?" Beat. "Thank you, Daddy." Beat. "Of course. I'll tell him." Beat. "Love you, Daddy." And the phone beeped off.

"The principal says that we can to the movie, with other kids driving, so we can all get there. He will take care of the other classes that we all have and that you have to teach, we can go to lunch at that new fancy place down the street from the theater and when we get to both places just let me do the talking. It will all go on his tab." The eyelash batting never ceased, and made Arthur highly concerned because that should make her at least somewhat tired. Or at least have a headache.

"Right, okay." Arthur looked around. The entire class was there. Perfect. "Well, we are going to see The Avengers today, because I didn't have a lesson planned. So, um, who can drive?" Seven hands went up out of twenty-two. "Is there enough room in those cars to fit the whole class?" There were murmurs of yes, and one "who the hell cares, we will all just stuff into one space to get out of school" that he ignored because frankly he was like that in school too. "Great, I guess choose who you are going to be driving with. We leave in five minutes." Those were the longest five minutes of his entire life, and that is saying something when your father is the overbearing, not giving a fuck's ass if you have a date, "why the hell didn't you get an A on a test", and "tell me why you hate me, I have all night" Uther Pendragon. 

Arthur had texted Merlin asking if he was available for a movie in about twenty minutes and set up a sign on the door saying that class has been cancelled for the day, go to the library and chill (because Arthur liked to think that he was a cool teacher, being a star athlete and the youngest teacher at the school and all), and watched the class converse none too quietly. He didn't notice the vibrating phone as one of the boys in the class came up to talk to him.

"Sir?" 

"Yes, Jacob?"

"Your phone is vibrating."

"Oh crap, thank you. How are you today?" Arthur was a very good multi-tasker, even though Merlin would always disagree. 

"Worried." Well, that was new. Arthur looked up from the text he was typing and looked at the boy. His expression wasn't of worry, but if you looked in his eyes long enough you could see it. 

"Why?" Arthur was a man of few words. None at all if possible.

"I don't think you know about Macy's...intentions."

"What do you mean? If there is something you need to tell me, I would be happy to listen, but if this is just an empty-"

"I am not lying to you and this isn't an empty incentive or whatever. She has _intentions_. She likes you, alright. And I don't mean in just an awesome teacher way. I mean, she wants you in her pants _all the time_. And you are one thick headed teacher if you can't see it," Jacob explained in a hushed voice. 

Jacob never talked. Which was the first sign that made Arthur realize he was being completely serious. The second; the hushed voice. Shit was going to go down if he didn't take this warning to heart.

"Alright, I believe you. I should send you to the principal's office for saying I have a thick head, but I have to agree with you on that so I will let it go. Thank you for letting me know. Would you like to ride in the car with me on the way there? For...safety reasons?" Might as well play it safe. The kid who never talked said the most words Arthur had ever heard him say in twenty seconds!

"Why?"

"To play it safe. Because, she is a teenage girl and she can do _anything_. Teenage girls are _scary_ ," Arthur explained in a completely serious voice. At least it got a laugh out him.

"Yes, they can be scary sometimes. Sure, why not? Won't do any harm."

"Great. Now, I think we should get going now," he said before turning towards the class. "Class, I do believe it is time for us to leave, so if everyone would please...file out," he announced as the whole class rushed to grab their things and leave the room. Students always grew increasingly happy when going on field trips. 

"Right, let's go."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!" 

Morgana rolled over onto her left side and looked at the clock. 6:40. Too early for five year olds to be up. 

"Yes sir?" she asked the boy with a stern face. Or as stern as one could get from just being jostled from a deep sleep.

"I wanna cuddle." Morgana's face fell. He always brought about the soft side of her. It most have been a curse of all children; bringing the softest out of the hardest.

"Of course we can cuddle, baby, you don't have to ask. Come here." 

Morgana moved over and allowed her son to crawl into bed and into her arms. He tossed and turned for a minute before he settled down and started to fall back into a sleep.

"I love you, Mommy," he mumbled against the sheets.

"I love you, too, AJ."

And they both fell into a sleep, soon re-awoken up by the ring of Morgana's phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I finally brought in Morgana's point of view. But, I wanted to leave the majority of it for the next chapter. Again, sorry for the grammatical errors.


	3. Kids

Morgana was walking around the corner, son in tow, through the morning sunlight. The day was beautiful, but that was normal. Or somewhat normal. Morgana thought everyday was beautiful; something she had learned to appreciate over the last few years. Beautiful was objective, Morgana knew that, but in a way, it added the effect.

Earlier that morning - 6:31 to be exact - she had received a phone call from the book store she had applied to that past Friday. She had expected a phone call Monday morning, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. However, that early in the morning was not the time to call a mother who had a five year old. 

She was shaken out of her thoughts when AJ pulled her arm towards the entrance of the shop. Morgana herself had never shopped in Lines of Adventures, but her best friend was a frequent shopper. The only reason she decided to apply there was because the owner was friendly-looking and there didn’t seem to be many workers. By the looks of it they definitely looked like they got enough business to need more than two people. 

“Hello! Welcome to Lines of Adventures. Can I be of any assistance today?” the young-looking lady at the desk greeted with a bright smile. 

“Uh.. yes. I am here for an interview with Mr. Emrys,” Morgana answered before turning to her son. “AJ, you can go look around if you want.” With that AJ was off, dashing around the store.

“Of course. Let me go see if he is back.”

Morgana watched as she walked away into the maze of shelves in the direction she assumed was the back of the store.The store had about fifty or sixty different shelves throughout packed with books; rarely any space left. There were signs directing people towards the genre of book they so choose, but if Morgana could predict anything - and she usually could - she would say that most of the books were simply thrown on the shelves. She was taking in her surroundings when she heard a loud crash and bang that made her jump.

“I’m okay!” came a small muffled voice. Morgana power-walked over in the direction of the noises. What she saw made her laugh: AJ was sitting on the floor, startled look on his face, his hands out by his side, and seven or so books on the floor around him and on his legs. Not only did it make him laugh, but it made a man behind Morgana laugh as well. It was a deep laugh, however it was a loving one. One that gave Morgana chills. 

“Hey, little man. You okay there?” the smiling man asked AJ as he bent down and began to pick up the books that had fallen. 

“Yes sir!” AJ answered enthusiastically.

“I’m glad to hear that. Do you wanna tell me did how all these books fell?” the man asked as he helped AJ off the ground.

“I don’t know! I was reaching for this book here,” AJ pointed to a blue book on the third row to the bottom, “and then there was this rumbling and all the books fell.”

“Hmm...seems like I forgot to feed the dragon today.”

“The dragon?” AJ asked with an incredulous expression.

“The _dragon_. His name is Kilgarrah, and he lives under this shop. Every time I forget to feed him, he gets _really_ angry and shakes the _whole_ store. He likes to talk in riddles and mess with all the little kids that come in here,” he explained with outlandish animation.

“Are you joking?” AJ asked with that skeptical kid voice, his hands on his hips, and a serious expression. 

“It depends, do you believe in dragons?”

It took him a moment or too to answer, “Kind of...”

“Kind of? Here, how about I find you a book on dragons, and then while I talk to your mother, you can sit here and read it. Can you read?” the man asked as he walked around the corner in search of a book about the mythical creatures with AJ at his feet. 

“Yep! I can read most words. ‘Cept the big ones. I haven’t got those down yet, but Mommy says it’s because I haven’t started school, yet.”

“Does she now? And how old are you?”

“I’m five! How old are you?” 

“AJ! That isn’t okay to ask someone,” Morgana interrupted with an apologetic tone.

“Oh, it’s quite all right. I did ask him first after all,” the man responded to her before answering AJ. “I’m 25 years old. But, my birthday is in one month; June 8th. When is your birthday?”

“Um...September 7th.. Right, Mommy?”

“Yes, that’s right,” Morgana answered AJ, taking a book off of a shelf to study it. The Gods of Ancient Egypt. Interesting if Morgana cared about ancient civilizations beyond the Romans. It was one of her weaknesses; knowledge of the ancient Roman Empire and chocolate covered bananas. But, shhh. Don't tell anyone.

“That’s a nice birthday. Do you know when your mother’s is?” the man asked as he got down the book he was looking for.

“Nope. Mommy, when is your birthday?”

“December 21st, baby," she answered, uncommitted.

“The winter solstice, brilliant. Here you go. One book on dragons with not very many big words so you will have no trouble reading it. If you do find one, however, there is going to be a very nice lady behind the desk at the front of the store. She will tell you what the words are. Her name is Rosa, okay?” the man explained before ruffling AJ’s hair with a smile.

“Okay, got it. Wait! What is your name? I need to know if I have anymore questions for you.”

“Right you are, AJ. My name is Merlin. Okay?”

“Okay! Thank you.” AJ responded as he quickly gave the man - Merlin - a big hug around his neck. Merlin smiled largely while he hugged AJ back. It was a heart melting moment for both Morgana and Merlin.

_Merlin_ stood up and AJ sat down and opened up the book.

“Shall we begin your interview, Ms...?” Merlin asked her, with a look as if he had seen her before, but could not remember her name. He did look vaguely familiar.

“Oh, right. Sorry. I’m Morgana Patterson.”

“Nice to meet you, Morgana. I am Merlin Emrys, but I prefer to be called Merlin.”

“Good to know.”

“Please, follow me.”

“To a world of pure imagination,” Morgana sang to herself as she followed Merlin to his office in the back of the store. 

“ _I_ understood that reference,” Merlin said with a laugh, scaring Morgana a little bit.

“But, I didn’t understand _that_ reference.”

Merlin laughed that incredibly deep, warming laugh that Morgana has loved earlier. _Loved? Maybe not that much._

“Sorry, I just came back from seeing The Avengers,” Merlin said with yet another laugh while looking down at his slightly unorganized mess of a desk. 

Morgana thought for a moment before checking the time on her watch. 2:25 P.M. On a Tuesday. “At a time like this? On a Tuesday?”

“Yeah, my...friend asked me to go with him and his school class this morning."

Morgana noticed that Merlin hesitated. Nothing could get past Morgana with the type of life she had lived. Merlin was hiding something, whether it was significantly important or not. 

“He took a school class to go see The Avengers on a Tuesday morning? Why?” Morgana continued. Awkward silence was not her strong suit.

“I don’t really know, but I didn’t have to pay for it, I got free lunch, and it was a really good movie.”

“Free movie and food. Reason enough to do most things, I suppose," Morgana agreed with a sharp nod.

“My exact reasoning. So, Morgana, why have you decided to apply here of all places?”

Morgana let whatever Merlin was hiding go. One, it wasn’t her place to question the man she had never talked to before today. And two, why would she question a man who could keep her from moving back into her parent’s house or losing her phone connection? Never bite the hand that feeds you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Merlin! Merlin, are you home?” Arthur yelled out as he stepped into their apartment. Arthur set his keys in the bowl, put his bags by the small table in the little hall, and slipped off his shoes. It was quiet. A bit _too_ quiet for it only being six in the afternoon. He made his way into the kitchen, when he noticed a light on in the bedroom. Following the light, his eyes fell on Merlin curled into a ball on his side of the bed, arm under a pillow with is head resting on it, fast asleep. 

_“Merlin really is a beautiful man, high cheekbones and all,”_ Arthur thought as he moved over to look at the sleeping man.

Arthur went to grab Merlin’s cell phone that he had a hold on when it vibrated. Now, Arthur was a curious person. Sometimes it got the better of him, other times the result didn’t affect him at all. Arthur should have known that the _“Thank you for talking to him. I am sorry if it bothered you, but AJ really appreciated it.”_ from one Morgana Patterson would affect him like no other. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Merlin woke up the next morning, his socks and pants were off, his cell phone was connected to the charger, there was a blanket around him as well as Arthur’s arms and legs. The last thing Merlin remembered was hanging the phone up from a very interesting conversation with AJ. But he could have sworn that he was awake when Arthur came home.

Merlin looked at the clock, 6:49, and then looked outside. It was just the beginning of the sunrise. As much as he wanted to get up to watch it like he did every morning, he had a begging feeling in the pit of his stomach to stay wrapped this close to Arthur as if it was one of the last times he would. So, he followed his instinct and turned to face the other man in the bed. 

“Good morning, Merlin,”Arthur lazily said as Merlin turned and kissed him softly.

“Good morning, Arthur. Was I awake when you came home last night?" 

As Arthur said this, Merlin moved his hand to rub at his eye.

“No, but as you can see I did okay. I haven’t died yet, have I?”

“I guess not. I’m sorry. I got home early, but I guess I was just worn out from the day so I past out.”

“It’s okay, kid. No hurt feelings,” Arthur smiled as he ran his hand up and down Merlin’s back.

“Good. So, I am thinking about hiring someone else today.”

“Really? Why?”

“Because, I think she needs the money, business is growing, and that will mean I get to spend a little more time at home, if you know what I mean.” With a wink a smirk grew on Merlin’s face.

“Spending more time at home? I like the sound of that. Well then, what is she like?”

“She is twenty-three, has a five year old kid, loves to read, she quoted Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, graduated top of her class, and her kid is absolutely adorable,” Merlin listed.

“Sounds like she past all of your tests, young Skywalker.”

“Most of them. She seems really quiet, a little too quiet to work with me. You know how I am.”

“She must be outgoing enough for you to even consider hiring her,” Arthur reasoned. 

“I don’t think it is her outgoing-ness that made me give thought to it.”

“What did then?”

“I have no idea...”

An hour later, Merlin and Arthur were out the door. Arthur headed north - in the car - to the school and Merlin walking south towards the shop. The sun was out, but there was a chill in the air that came from the wind. It was definitely one of the more manageable May days that Merlin had faced. 

On his way to the shop, Merlin couldn’t help but think about one Morgana Patterson. Why was he so determined to hire this person, _this woman_ , who just seemed so completely wrong for his store? Was it because she was young? Perhaps because she was beautiful? Maybe because he needed the help no matter how many times he denied it? Or maybe it was because of AJ, the adorable little five year old that had buried his way in Merlin’s heart and the only way to keep him there was by hiring his mother? Yes, that was it. It was all because of AJ. Merlin was a sucker for kids (had always wanted one), so it had to be the last one. _Just had to be._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Morgana let out a long and loud sigh as she turned in her bed and looked at the clock. 7:43.

_“Well, not as early as yesterday,”_ Morgana thought as she reached out to grab her cell phone and looked at the screen. 

_Merlin Emrys_ flashed bright on her screen. With another sigh she answered the phone. 

“Hello, Merlin.” she answered drowsily.

“Hi, Morgana. Did I wake you up?” Merlin asked with a concerned voice. 

“Yes, but it is quite alright. I needed to get up for the day, anyways. How may I help you?”

“Well, I just called to let you know that I have thought about it, and I have decided that I am going to give you the position.”

Morgana didn’t believe in miracles, but if she did she knew that it was too early in the day to receive them. And in her life if she was thinking properly.

“And you had to call me this early in the morning to tell me? Are you a morning person, Merlin?”

“I...yes. Yes, I am.” Hesitation again. 

“Well, stop being one. It messes up with my sleeping schedule.”

“You aren’t even going to thank me?”

“Right, I apologize. Thank you for waking me up before eight in the morning.” Her voice had no indication of it, but Morgana was smiling. Must be a Merlin effect.

“No problem!” Merlin said with what sounded like faked enthusiasm. “You start tomorrow, 8:30, not sharp. Tell AJ I said hi and that I hope he has a good day. You as well.”

“Will do, Merlin." Now it was Morgana's turn to hesitate. One Mississippi. Two Mississippi. Three Mississippi, four. "Thank you, I appreciate it.”

“Like I said, no problem. Well, I got to go. The day awaits.”

“Bye, Merlin.”

Morgana ended the call, looked at the phone, and broke out in an even larger smile than before. Something was telling her that this was exactly what she needed, not just for her, but for AJ as well. That was, however, when a heavy pounding was heard on the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger on a story I haven't updated in a good eight months. Yeah, I suck balls. Hope you enjoyed it! Sorry it wasn't a longer chapter!!! I have already thought of what I want to go in the next chapter, so if you are lucky you might get it by the end of next week. Perhaps you might get two chapters by the end of next year. The world may never know.


	4. No Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it has been so long since the last update. But, the previous chapters have been edited, and this one will soon as well. Just have to get through AP exams. As I was uploading this chapter, I realized just how much dialogue is in it. But, I think it will be important to the story in the long run. I will try to add a bunch more details in the next chapter.

For three weeks, it went by seamlessly. Morgana had found a babysitter but, because the babysitter had Uni classes on Tuesdays and Fridays, AJ was allowed to hang around the shop those days and Morgana was allowed to leave early if she wanted. But she never did.

Morgana was getting quite used to the way things worked in the shop. Merlin was either there late or super early. She never opened, nor closed for that matter, because Rosa seemed to roll in an hour before Morgana arrived and left _way_ past sunset. It was perfectly fine with Morgana - one less thing she had to worry about. Within no time at all, she understood the shelving system that wasn’t really a system at all. Where there was open space, there was space to put a book in. Just remember where you put it, or else all was doomed. 

AJ seemed to fit in more than Morgana did, though. As a five year old, he was energetic and loving. Not to mention loud. The first time that Merlin yelled across the store to Rosa for something Morgana jump a foot off the ground. For a place that sold books, it was incredibly _not_ quiet. Half the time, Merlin had music blaring through the speakers. (Well, not blaring, but they _weren’t_ quiet.) Therefore, whenever AJ was around, he would yell back and forth to Rosa and Merlin, and sometimes even the customers in the store - the regulars, of course. Morgana was not surprised that he was well loved by everybody, but was more surprised that he had begun to know where everything was in the store and would help some of the customers. She was very surprised when one day a customer - obviously not a frequent Lines of Adventures shopper - made a passing comment to Merlin.

“Your son is so adorable. What’s his name?” the older lady asked.

“His name is AJ, but he isn’t my son, ma’am,” Merlin answered with a brilliant smile as he scratched the back of his head.

“Well, he looks just like you. Same big ears and all. But, if you say so.” And with that, the lady walked to the front desk where Rosa was to check out. 

Morgana watched as Rosa and the lady had a quiet conversation, but for the life of her, she could not figure out what they were saying. She could pinpoint a few words - _son, adorable, and Merlin_ \- but that was only because they were spoken louder than the rest. 

“Mommy!” AJ yelled from behind a bookshelf. 

“Yes?” 

“Are you mad that the lady thought I was Merlin’s son and not yours?” AJ asked looking up at his mother with wide doe eyes. 

“No, honey. Just curious,” Morgana answered as she set about to finish her task of stocking the shelves with the new books they had received that morning.

“About?” 

“Nothing. How ‘bout you go see what Merlin is doing? Maybe he can take you to go see a movie, or get some ice cream.”

“Did I hear someone say movie and ice cream?” Merlin said as he popped his head out from behind the shelf wearing that big goofy smile of his. Morgana would be lying if she said it wasn’t contagious. 

“Yep! Will you take me?” AJ asked jumping up and down.

“Hmm... depends. What movie do you want to see?” Merlin questioned. 

AJ looked off in deep thought. After a minute of saying _‘hmmm’_ and stroking his chin like an old man, he presented his case. 

“Well, even though you have seen The Avengers, I haven’t. And Mommy won’t take me.” 

“Why won’t she?” Merlin asked the boy as he looked at Morgana with an amused facial expression.

“She says she doesn’t like any movies with Scarlett Johanson in it,” AJ explained.

Merlin laughed at the reason. Morgana looked at him, stern look, thinking of a thousand ways to make him stop laughing. Some of them slightly naughty. 

“What?” he asked, still doubling over with laughter.

“Why are you laughing?” Morgana asked, moving a hand to her hip. 

“Because you’re jealous of Scarlett Johansson.”

“Yeah. So?”

Merlin looked at her with a glint in his eye, straighten up, and coughed. “You shouldn’t be,” he said, quite seriously. A few seconds later, he smiled a smile she had yet seen before. It was almost a smirk, but a sexy one; those that were half smile, half sex. 

“Why are you smiling like that?” she asked, growing uncomfortable.

“You’re blushing. People don’t compliment you enough, do they?” Merlin asked, leaning against the shelf, not rid of the smirk yet.

“No, it’s just that the last time a guy complimented me it turned into AJ,” she said quite seriously. The look on Merlin’s face was priceless.

“I wasn’t trying to... I didn’t mean it like that! Wait... the last time a guy complimented you was six years ago?” 

Morgana had to think. People complimented her all the time, but they were little comments. Nothing that made her stomach twist - _why was her stomach twisting?_ \- or her hands begin to sweat. The last person that did that was in fact AJ’s father, and that sure stopped when the other stuff began. 

“Yeah, it’s been about six years or so. Why?”

“No reason.”

“Can we go to the movies?” AJ interrupted the adults. Both of them snapped their heads to him, not realizing that they had been staring at each other. 

“Yeah, sure. Come on kid,” Merlin said with what seemed like fake enthusiasm as he turned towards her again. “Do you want to come with us?” 

“No, I think I will finish up here and then head home. Do you mind dropping him off there whenever you guys finish?” Morgana asked, fidgeting with the books in her hands. 

“Not at all! AJ, tell your mother bye!” Merlin called to the kid who had ventured to the front of the store.

“Bye, Mommy! See you later!” 

“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” Merlin asked with small puppy eyes.

“I’m sure. I have a lot to do at home, anyways,” Morgana lied. 

“Well, if you change your mind, call me. Okay?” Merlin asked as he stepped towards her a few seconds. 

“Okay, Merlin,” Morgana answered, more nervous then she was before. They had never been this close in distance and it scared her. “You should go. AJ is waiting for you.” 

“Right. I should...go. See you later.”

And then Merlin was gone leaving Morgana left standing there, in the middle of an aisle, silently hyperventilating. She could have been there seconds, minutes, or even an hour before she was calm again. However, that didn’t last long because when she turned around Rosa was there.

“Oh my gosh, you scared me. How long have you been there?” Morgana inquired after jumping up and basically reaching into her chest to stop her beating heart. 

“Only a minute or two. Are you okay?”

Morgana liked Rosa. She really did. She just hadn’t gotten a good reading on her, so she was very careful around her. She didn’t know if what she was going to tell her would get out at some point.   
“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You don’t like it. Maybe you should go home.”

“I can’t,” Morgana said quickly, shaking her head before she realized what she said and widened her eyes. 

“Why not?” Rosa asked curiously, stepping towards Morgana. 

“Because...I have work to do.”

“If you say so. May I ask you a question?” 

“You already have.”

“Do you like Merlin?”

“That’s a bit personal.” Morgana evasively answered, turning to walk away to finish shelving the books. 

“Because I can tell he likes you,” Rosa said following her. 

“What makes you say that?” 

“He watches you-”

“Stalker.”

“He smiles whenever he sees you, and he jokes around with you.”

“He jokes around with you, too.”

“Yeah, but it isn’t the same. _I_ can tell.”

“Well, _I_ can’t.”

“You really don’t understand, do you?” Rosa asked, stopping Morgana by grapping her arm and spinning her around. Face to face. Dangerous.

“Understand what?”

“What it means to have Merlin like you.”

“No, I don’t,” Morgana responded, curious about what Rosa was getting at, but completely over the conversation. 

“It means he is going to break someone’s heart, and maybe even yours.”

And then Rosa walked away. Just like that. Someone else leaving Morgana silently hyperventilating. 

___________________________________________________________________

It was late in the afternoon, but Arthur didn’t want to move. He wanted to think but, about what he didn’t know. Maybe the way Merlin had been acting differently the past few weeks. Perhaps the way he was paying slightly more attention to the things that Macy did - only to be cautious! - or even the way that she seemed to be around Arthur so much more since they went to see The Avengers. Speaking of the devil now.

“Hi, Mr. Pendragon. Why are you still here? Staring out into space?” Macy asked as she strutted into his roo, closing the door behind her. 

“Thinking,” Arthur replied back to her in a stern, short, annoyed voice. 

“About?” Macy asked walking up to his desk and sitting on top of it.

“Nothing.” Same cold response.

“You can’t be thinking about nothing! Come on, tell me.”

“It is nothing to concern yourself with, Macy. Why are you still here? It’s what, seven?”

“It’s only just now six, and I’m waiting for Daddy to finish,” Macy replied quite cheerily. 

“Well, maybe you should go bother him. I’m busy.”

“You’re only thinking-”

“And it means I’m busy.”

“You don’t like me, do you?” Macy asked jumping off the desk. This time she was the one with the annoyed tone. 

Arthur thought about it for a minute. If he said no, there was no telling what she would do. Maybe get him fired? If he said yes, well, she would probably pounce him and that would really get him fired. Nobody would believe _him_ over the _principal’s daughter_. 

“I can’t answer that, Macy.”

“Why the hell not?” 

“There is no need for cussing, you know why I can’t answer that,” Arthur answered in his most civilized teacher voice. No need for yelling and causing a scene. There was no telling who was still here at the school. 

“No, I don’t!” 

“Because, whatever I say could get me fired.”

“If you say no, I’ll leave you alone.”

“If I say no, you could say anything and they would believe you over me. You’re the principal’s daughter and incredibly respected in this school, Macy. Why can’t you see that?” 

Arthur didn’t know what to do with his hands at this point. Confrontation was not his strong suit. So if he was fiddling around with pencils, it wasn’t his fault. 

“Because I like you!”

“Well you _please_ be quiet?” Arthur asked her, finally looking up into her face. She was crying, but her voice showed no trace of it. 

“Why?” Macy spoke quietly, adding a sniffle for effect.

“Because I don’t want to cause a scene,” Arthur explained still looking at Macy. 

“Do you like me?” Macy asked him, softly.

Arthur began to think again. He liked her as a student, as a person, and as a smart individual. But, he wasn’t sure if he liked her _like that_. She was his student, his boss’s child. Those alone could get him in big trouble. Plus, there was an age difference that could get him in trouble. Even if he did like her, saying yes would backfire.

“I don’t know-” Arthur answered quite honestly. 

“How do you not know?”

“But, it doesn’t matter. I’m in a relationship,” he finished. 

“That doesn’t seem to be going very well.”

“What makes you say that?” Arthur quizzed.

“You are here at six at night and not at home with him. All you’re doing is sitting here and thinking. If your relationship was going well, you wouldn’t be here,” Macy supplied. 

Macy had a point. Why was Arthur here and not at home?

“See, I’m right. So why can’t you just admit that you like me?” 

Stupid girl.

“It’s still wrong on so many levels and you-”

He was interrupt. Oh, how he hated that. But, somehow he wasn’t complaining. A soft pair of lips had attached themselves to his, though they were soft, they were rough and strong against his own limp ones. Soft, perfectly manicured hands had found their way across his face and into his hair. Arthur responded when her tongue gently licked his top lip. He grabbed her upper arms gently, pulling her into his lap. Arthur couldn’t remember what had happened next, but the moment Macy moved her hips trying to create friction, Arthur stopped. 

“We can’t do this,” he said, panting and slightly hard. 

“Why stop now?” Macy asked, panting as well.

“We are at school. We can’t do this, okay?”

“We can’t do this here, or ever? I mean, it’s pretty clear you want this.”

“I need to go, I’ll see you in the morning.” Arthur gently pushed Macy off of him, stood up, and left. He was incredibly lucky that his wallet and his keys were in his pockets. 

___________________________________________________________________________

Merlin was in the car, driving to Morgana’s house. It had been an eventful day, and Merlin was ready to get home to Arthur. However, he had enjoyed the time he spent with AJ. He was growing quite fond of the boy. 

“Hey Merlin?” AJ asked from the backseat. 

“Yes?”

“Are you and Mommy going to get married?” 

Merlin could tell that AJ was tired. His voice was quiet and he kept rubbing his eyes. Not to mention he could hear yawns every couple of minutes or so. From experience, Merlin knew that AJ asked questions when he got tired. He was like Merlin in that way, but this was not a question he had ever expected the five year old to ask. 

“Why do you ask?” Merlin questioned, avoiding the answer. 

“Because you love each other.” 

_“We’ve only known each other for three weeks,”_ Merlin thought. 

“What makes you say that?” 

“Mommy talks about you all the time, and she doesn’t love Daddy anymore. So she must love you.” Very reasonable for a five year old.

“Do you still see your dad, AJ?” Merlin asked, completely curious now. Wasn’t even going to hide it. 

“Sometimes. He usually comes visit Mommy at night when I am asleep though. But, they are loud, and it wakes me up. And when he leaves, she always comes and gets me to cuddle with her in bed.”

“How often does this happen?” 

“Every day.”

Something didn’t feel right about Merlin finding this out from a five year old, but he didn’t know Morgana _that_ well. 

“Mommy and I are not going to get married, okay?”

“Why not?”

“We don’t love each other, AJ. We haven’t known each other very long. We haven’t even gone on a date.”

“Are you already married?” AJ asked him behind another yawn. 

“No, but I am seeing someone.”

“Who?”

“His name is Arthur,” Merlin answered smiling. 

“Would he mind if I made you my dad? I don’t like mine,” AJ asked very seriously, which made Merlin sad. 

He thought for a minute. Merlin had always wanted children, but that was very difficult to accomplish for him. This was his chance to become a parent, even a tiny bit. But, it was wrong for Morgana, AJ’s dad (he didn’t know him, he could be a great parent for all Merlin knew) and for Arthur. Arthur didn’t even know about Morgana or AJ or how much time Merlin had been spending with the five year old. 

“I don’t know, but I will talk to him about it, if you want me too.”

“I hope he says yes.”

Merlin drove up into a parking spot of Morgana’s apartment complex. Never had he ever had so many mixed emotions about parking. 

“Come on, AJ. You’re home.”

“Okay.”

The two of them got out of the car, AJ with the help of Merlin, and began to walk to the first floor door. Before Merlin could knock on the door, AJ reached up for the handle and opened the door. It was unlocked. 

“Mommy!” AJ yelled, walking into the apartment.

“AJ!” Morgana called back, walking into the living room. “Hello, Merlin.”

“Hi, Morgana,” Merlin awkwardly greeted, still standing in the hallway of the apartments.

“Aren’t you going to come in?” Morgana asked with a smile.

“No, I think I should head home. It’s been a long day.”

“If you insist. Thank you for taking AJ out today, he needed it,” Morgana thanked. 

“Um...are you okay?” Merlin asked.

“What do you mean?” Morgana quizzed after a beat of silence. 

“Nothing. Nevermind. I should go. See you tomorrow. Bye AJ!”

“Wait, Merlin!” AJ yelled from his room. Merlin waited patiently, staring at Morgana who had a judging look on her face. It was removed when AJ ran past her towards Merlin. 

“Bye, Merlin. Thank you for today!” AJ said pulling Merlin’s hand so he would drop to his level.   
“It was no problem, kid. I had fun. We should do it, okay?” Merlin answered in the most sincere voice he could come up with. 

“Yay! And remember to talk to Arthur, okay?” AJ reminded the man. 

“I will. See you later, AJ.”

Merlin stood up as AJ ran back into his room. 

“Who’s Arthur?” Morgana asked with a smile. “And what do you have to talk to him about?”

“You should talk to AJ about it,” Merlin said with his own smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Merlin walked away, yet again leaving a befuddled Morgana to contemplate the events that happened between them. Before she closed the door he could hear her yell for AJ. 

__________________________________________________________________________

Arthur got home around eight that night. After he left the school, he drove around the city for two hours. He didn’t know if Merlin was home, but he knew that he couldn’t face him right after that had happened. So he waited. And thought. 

If Macy could see something wrong with his relationship to Merlin, how come he couldn’t? Everything was there, everything was perfect. Everything was _normal_. Things went according to plan. And that was okay, right? It had to be healthy, at least compared to the other relationships Arthur had before Merlin. They were just high school relationships, just for the sex if he was honest. His relationship with Merlin was so much more. Arthur was in love, and he knew it. It was indescribable, something he couldn’t formulate into words. And _that’s_ how he knew he was in love. 

Macy was wrong. There was nothing weird going on with the relationship he was in with Merlin. He would be able to tell if there was. Arthur was sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am incredibly excited to write the next few chapters! Within the next three I will be introducing AJ's dad. Who do you want it to be? I haven't got a clue yet.


	5. Zombies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. It is unedited. I hope you like it! Its not the normal chapter. More dialogue than anything, and its definitely shorter than the others. Honestly, this chapter got out of my hands quickly. Sorry. 
> 
> Added: If you feel like I am moving through the story fast, please let me know. I tend to do that with longer stories, but I am trying to slow down and get a good build and stuff. Please tell me!!!

Merlin got home around nine. Which wasn’t necessarily late for Merlin, but it was late compared to the time that Arthur usually got home. He was one to be in bed almost asleep at nine, which was weird from what he had heard about Arthur and his party habits. Merlin always said that he had to make up for lost time. So when Merlin walked in to find Arthur sitting on the couch with his head in his heads, he was surprised. By the way his back moved, Merlin could tell that Arthur was stressed and had probably been crying, more recently then he cared to admit. Also, by the lack of jump in Arthur’s form, he either had no clue that Merlin was home or that he simply didn’t think about the sounds coming from the house. 

“Arthur?” Merlin asked, dropping his stuff on the floor near the door and slowing moving towards the man. When he spoke, Arthur lifted his head to look at the speaker. 

“Hi,” Arthur spoke before getting off the couch and straightening his clothes. 

“Are you okay? Tough day? Normal stress?”

“You could say all of the above,” Arthur said leaning in to kiss Merlin on the lips. Merlin didn’t think anything of the faster than normal kiss and the fact that Arthur almost seemed force to make the action. 

“Have you had dinner yet?” Merlin asked, walking into the kitchen. 

“Um... No, I haven’t. Just got home.”

“No wonder you’re so stressed. You had an abnormally long day. Something happen?” Merlin asked as he began to cook up something that he knew by heart to cook so he could pay more attention to Arthur then he had to the cooking. By the look of Arthur’s face, something did happen.

“No, not really. Just the normal stuff. I guess I have just been behind on grading, so I stayed to finish most of it. You know how I am about bringing work home with me.”

The lie seemed to roll off of Arthur’s tongue, with hesitation at first, but Merlin let it slide. He trusted Arthur and if he wanted to talk about it, he would. Hopefully. 

“I do indeed. Well, I am very sorry I am late. I went to see a movie-”

“With who?” Arthur looked surprised and judging. Which was new. Merlin _did_ have friends, but his friends (Gwen, Lance, Gwaine) rarely saw movies, and Merlin only ever went to the movies with Arthur. Merlin couldn’t blame Arthur for his choice of expression, but it wasn’t needed knowing that Merlin just believed the flat-out lie that had come from his mouth. 

“A five year old named AJ. He is the son of the new employee at the shop,” Merlin said ignoring his want to comment on Arthur’s face and his lie. Instead he spoke with carelessness. 

“You are hanging out with a five year old?”

“Yes? Why is that so shocking?” 

“I didn’t know... I don’t know it just is.”

There was silence as Merlin shuffled around the kitchen, making spaghetti of all things, ignoring the way Arthur’s mouth opened and closed and the way his eyebrows bunched up in thought. 

“Spit it out, Arthur,” Merlin ordered after a bit more of silence that he couldn’t take. It was a known fact that Merlin couldn’t handle silence very well. He wasn’t that he disliked them, it was more that it gave him time to think, it gave time for other people to think, and for awkward situations to arise and he hated all of those. Thinking was bad. 

“Do you like hanging out with him?”

“Yes, he is quite enjoyable. He wants me to ask you a question though.”

“I am not losing my boyfriend to a five year old, _Mer _lin,” Arthur said as he sat down on one of the barstools across from Merlin who was still working in the kitchen.__

__“You aren’t losing your boyfriend, but he would like to see if you would allow him to call me daddy. He says that he doesn’t like his own, for what reason I know not. But, nevertheless, I said I would ask. He seemed very serious about it.”_ _

__Merlin looked over at Arthur for a minute, letting the noodles cook for a while longer. His faced had changed from his judgmental state to a impassive state, emotionless and none-the-less judgmental. Arthur was always judgmental, that bastard._ _

__“I don’t see why not. But, have you talked to his mother about it? And how long have you known him? Five year olds are smart, Merlin.”_ _

__“He is very smart for his age. And, no I haven’t, but I did tell her that she should talk to him. When I dropped him off earlier, he told me to talk to you in front of her and she asked about it.”_ _

__“You dropped him off... at their house? Where the dad lives?”_ _

__“I don’t know, exactly. I don’t think they are together. AJ said that his dad comes and visits his mother, Morgana, at night and leaves before he wakes up. I don’t think their relationship is...stable. But, I have only known her and AJ for three weeks, so I haven’t asked or anything. I just found out most of this tonight.”_ _

__There was more silence that filled the kitchen save the boiling water. Merlin was worried that he had crossed a line, not just with his growing relationship with Morgana and her son, but with Arthur. He didn’t know why, but he felt the tension and what tension would come in the future. He couldn’t be sure as to _why_ he was worried about it, but his guts were always right. And that was always a problem. _ _

__“Can I meet him?” Arthur said, making Merlin focus on him and the dinner that was almost done._ _

__“Who?”_ _

__“AJ.”_ _

__Merlin thought for a minute. He wanted to say no, that AJ was his and his alone, but he couldn’t do that. Arthur was his as well and when they had started their relationship, they had said that whatever was one of theirs, was both. Somehow, AJ just felt more special if he was just Merlin’s._ _

__“I don’t see why not. Want to stop by the shop on Thursday? That’s the next time I will see him.”_ _

__“Do you want kids, Merlin?” Arthur asked unexpectedly._ _

__“Why do you ask?”_ _

__“The way you talk about AJ, its as if he is your child. I guess we never really discussed it, but then again I guess we could never have one of our own so it never came up.”_ _

__“It never came up in _your_ head, Arthur. It’s always been in mine.”_ _

__Merlin looked at Arthur, who was looking back at him. He could see the thoughts forming and circulating in his mind, the way that the information that they never really talked about in the years they had been together yet they really should have came out. From the look that Arthur was giving Merlin, Merlin knew he had said the wrong thing._ _

__“I’m sorry-”_ _

__“No, I am. We should have talked about it. I don’t know why we didn’t. You usually bring stuff up,” Arthur interrupted, shaking his head yet again._ _

__“We aren’t married, I didn’t think it would-” Merlin stopped. He didn’t know how to finish that sentence, and he didn’t know if he could._ _

__“Would what?”_ _

__There was silence as Merlin busied himself around the kitchen again, leaving Arthur staring at his form from the stool. Merlin could feel like Arthur was becoming impatient with the lack of answer, but Merlin couldn’t bring himself to say anything. Whatever he said could change anything and everything or nothing at all and that wasn’t something Merlin wanted. Honestly, he didn’t know _what_ he wanted. _ _

__“Merlin, you can tell me. It isn’t going to change anything.”_ _

___Damn mind reader._ _ _

__“I’ve had bad relationships in the past, you know that. I guess a part of me was worried that our would end up like that as well. So, I never told you. That could also be because you never asked.”_ _

__Merlin didn’t look at Arthur as he finished speaking because he was busy with the spaghetti sauce, but mostly because he was afraid of what he would find._ _

__“Okay.”_ _

__Okay? _Okay?_ That was all Merlin got? If Merlin didn’t know that Arthur had already had some kind of tough day, he would have pushed it. Well, he probably wouldn’t. They didn’t fight. Never, except for once in their relationship had they gotten in a fight, and it ended up with Merlin not seeing Arthur for a week. That was four years ago. They had been together for six. _ _

__“Dinner is ready. I am going to take a shower,” Merlin said before he walked out towards their bathroom. When he came out, Arthur was asleep (or so he thought) on the bed, arm outstretched like it was waiting to be used as Merlin’s pillow._ _

_____________________________________________________________________________ _

__Once AJ got home, he was in his room for most of the night. When she went to check on him around 9:30, he was sound asleep in his bed. It was his normal bed time, or so she told people._ _

__When he was three months old, his father left. But, he kept coming back when AJ was asleep. He wanted nothing to do with the baby except say hi every so often. Morgana had found that he only wanted sex and that was fine for a while because Morgana was young and foolish, but now she knew better. The longer AJ stayed awake, the less time she had to see him. It was selfish, but it worked most nights. Since he was asleep so early, it wouldn’t work tonight._ _

__Shit._ _

__Despite knowing what was to come, she was still startled by the sharp knock on her front door. She hadn’t moved when she first heard it, but moved quickly when the second knock sequence came. It was pointless waking AJ up now._ _

__“Who is it?” Pointless question._ _

__“You know who it is,” the deep voice said from the other side of the door._ _

__“You can’t be here tonight.”_ _

__“Why the hell not? Is the boy awake?”_ _

__“No, but I need time to-” Pointless attempt at an excuse._ _

__“Bullshit. Open the fucking door.”_ _

__“I can’t do that,” Morgana said._ _

__“Why?”_ _

__“Because you will wake up AJ. You do every time you come here.”_ _

__“The boy has to grow up and learn how the world works, Morgana,” he answered, and Morgana could tell that he was angry. Not just by the words, but because she knew him. She knew his words, tones, breathing patterns, the tension in his body, and how to make them go away. As much as she hated him, she had at one point loved him and it never went away._ _

__“He is only five, you needs to be a kid first.”_ _

__“Let me in, Morgana.”_ _

__“I can’t.” Pointless, pointless, pointless._ _

__“Morgana-”_ _

__“Please go away, I don’t want to get you in trouble with the cops again.”_ _

__“I won’t leave until you open the door.”_ _

__There was silence. Not even footsteps. He meant what he said; he was staying even if that meant all night and kicking the door in. Morgana hated confrontations and at this moment in her life she didn’t want one with the police. So it was pointless to not open the door, which she did slowly and cautiously. He was standing there, smoking, watching the door ease open and Morgana take form on the other side of the threshold._ _

__“About time,” he said not moving._ _

__“If you don’t care, why do you keep coming back?”_ _

__“Because you’re weak and already know how to please me. Training another bitch would take too long.”_ _

__He walked in, shut the door (loudly if anyone asked) and that was that. All of the cries, the hushed moans, the silent begging to stop, the slaps and punches were not talked about with anyone. Not even AJ who always woke to the sounds._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a lot more dialogue then I wanted, and not where I wanted some information to come out, but my fingers and the characters control the story, not my head. So, I hoped you like it! Next one coming soon, hopefully!


	6. From Eden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I have been gone for so long, but life has taken over. Here is the chapter I promised. I am sure there are mistakes, but I will go back later this week and fix them. For future reference (as in you will need it this chapter) things that are _underlined and italicized_ are Gary’s voice, things that are _**italicized and bolded**_ are dreams, things that are just _italicized_ are thoughts from the current character.

_**“You can’t leave! You can’t! You promised forever. What happened to that? What changed?” yelling wasn’t going to get anywhere, Merlin knew that, but that was all he had left.** _

“ _ **You changed, can’t you see? You don’t love me anymore; I can’t remember the last time you did! You love him now, that who-“ That word didn’t work here, Merlin could tell. He didn’t remember who the conversation was with or about, but he could tell it didn’t belong. The word didn’t belong anywhere.**_

_**“Don’t you fucking use that word, he isn’t one and you know it!”** _

_**“I can’t be sure given his past employment. Why not give him a title he deserves?” Past employment? What the freaking frack was he on about?** _

_**“If you think I’ve changed then you should know that too, shouldn’t you?”  Sassy Merlin in dreams (maybe this is a nightmare?) was never good, and they weren’t good in real life either.** _

_**“Because you love him, that’s why! You changed from loving me to loving him and he wins, I give up. I won’t fight for my boyfriend’s love when someone else has already won it. I can’t. I don’t have the energy.” It didn’t matter who was talking to Merlin at this point, he could tell they were hurt and it was all Merlin’s fault. There was no doubt about it and Merlin couldn’t change a thing, no matter how hard he fought it.** _

_**“What happened to forever, Jackson? What happened?” Voice cracks; the deadly of dead tones.** _

_**“Merlin I’m sorry I ju-“** _

_**“You don’t get to say sorry for leaving me. That isn’t fair!”** _

_**“And it’s fair that I don’t hold your heart anymore but you still expect me to stick around? That isn’t fair Merlin and you know it! You know how much you mean to me and you probably always will, but these fucking mind games you keep playing is tearing me apart, and I don’t want to play a losing game. But you are right, I don’t have to say sorry, you should.” Logic, something Merlin was bad at arguing in things like these, his emotions usually beat out his logical mind.** _

_**“But I’m not sorry, it isn’t me who is leaving.”** _

_**“You already left, months ago, when you starting to fall in love with him. You are just so far gone you don’t even realized you left.” Jackson grabbed his bag off the floor and starting to make his way to the door.** _

_**“Please don’t leave, Jackson, please I’m begging you.”** _

_**“I’m sorry Merlin.” And he was out the door was a** _

BANG. Merlin jolted upright in his bed, taking in his surroundings. Home; he was home. It was light out, and he was on his side of the bed but Arthur was nowhere to be found. Looking at his phone he realized why – it was eight in the morning and Arthur was late for school. Which also meant that Merlin was late for work, but honestly how late can you be to the place you own? Very late was the answer but Merlin was in no rush. He didn’t feel it. If he was completely honest he didn’t feel a thing.

 _I wonder why_ , his inner voice (dubbed Gary). _It can be a hassle hiding the real reason your last relationship didn’t work out from Arthur._

 _It doesn’t matter why, Arthur never asked questions._ _But is it right to make him deal with the same issue Jackson had? You know how hurt he was._ _Yes I know how hurt Jackson was but it isn’t happening with Arthur and it won’t. I love Arthur._ _Yes, but you loved Jackson and then you loved Arthur. What happens as you begin to love AJ and Morgana._   _Well, it isn’t going to happen._

Merlin was weird, he knew that. He had a voice inside his head that he actually talked to. In his head of course, he didn’t have half-conversations out loud.

Anyways, Merlin wasn’t going to rush so he took his merry time getting his coffee and himself ready for work. He decided walking wouldn’t take too long, and it was a beautiful day so far so it couldn’t hurt either. Leaving for work was always easy he found; books were his home. Always have been, even in his childhood where he and his mom moved more than once a year. Books kept him happy, and it wasn’t long before it was the only happiness he got.

And then he discovered the sunrise, the trees, the atmosphere of the awakening world. He would be lying if he didn’t enjoy the rush of other people getting ready for the day, but he did. He could feel the energy rise in the city as the morning hours ticked by. Merlin could feel it in his bones as if that energy was what kept him alive, was the magic inside him. He liked it like that, nothing made him happier or calmer, except maybe a good book or his mother’s hugs.

It took him thirty minutes to get to work, making him an hour and a half late. Merlin simply couldn’t bring himself to care because the only thing he had on his mind was nothing. Absolutely nothing, not Arthur, not Rosa, not the store, not AJ, and especially not Morgana with her waist length hair, Anime-white skin, piercing smile, and strangely colored eyes that seemed to smile even when her mouth didn’t. He sure wasn’t thinking about that.

“Goodmorning Merlin. You sure are late today,” Rosa greeted from behind the round counter.

“Yes I suppose I am,” Merlin addressed back heading into his office. Feeling a buzz in his pants pocket, Merlin fished out his phone looking at the text from Arthur. Made it to work, see you later. _Can’t do lunch today, going to work through it._

“Hey Merlin!” a distracting voice said from in front of him. He heard it, but he wasn’t listening so he promptly ran into the owner of the velvet smooth voice – Morgana.

“Oh! I am so sorry Morgana, sorry I was just reading a text message,” he apologized as he bent down to pick up the book he had pushed out of her hands.

“It’s quite alright Merlin, it must have been a rather cute message, you were smiling so big.”

 _Well not from the text, from the thought that I could have lunch with you,_ Merlin thought.

“Yeah, I guess it was. Um, question, what are you doing for lunch? I happen to be free-“

“I’d love to Merlin,” Morgana interrupted with the slightest inclination that she didn’t want to.

“But? I feel like there is a but in there somewhere.”

“But I promised Rosa I would go out with her today. She thought it was be a good idea for us to get to know each other a little better since we would be working together a whole lot more.”

 _Reasonable,_ another reason why Merlin hired Rosa.

“Ah, I see. No, it’s totally okay! I would love for you guys to get to know each other better as well. Maybe another time, yeah?”

“Sure, Merlin. Maybe tomorrow? With AJ?” There was a hurt to her voice and Merlin couldn’t pinpoint where it was from, maybe about AJ. Hopefully something wasn’t wrong with him.

“Sounds good, Morgana. I look forward to it. Speaking of which, I know it’s Wednesday and I guess I forgot to ask in previous weeks, but do you go to church on Wednesdays? I guess I forget to ask because I don’t go myself, but I didn’t know if you wanted off Wednes-“

“No need Merlin, I don’t go to church.” Merlin knew why he didn’t believe, but he had to say he was slightly curious as to why she didn’t believe. He figured it might have something to do with AJ’s father, but he wasn’t going to ask questions - he didn’t fully want to know the answer.

“Alright then, just making sure. You, uh, have a good day,” Merlin said with a smile (forced) as he walked into his office.

Merlin let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding in as the door snapped shut.

* * *

 

“Good morning Mr. Pendragon,” a sweetly annoying voice said as it entered his classroom. His classroom. Where he controlled everything, or at least had extreme control over it. Not Macy, who the voice happened to belong to. She didn’t control him and he wouldn’t let her. No matter what his body – or his thoughts – decided to do.

“Good morning, Macy. How are you today?” If he sounded uninterested, it meant he was. No double meanings, because there were no feelings there for Macy. None. As long as he kept telling himself that, it would become true.

“I’d be better but I had a pretty rough night. I had to work out a kink all by myself and it was exhausting.” _Twisted, twisted girl_ ; Arthur wasn’t going to give in. There was nothing to give into.

“Oh, well I’m sorry you are exhausted. Today’s classwork isn’t going to help with that either.”

“What do you mean classwork isn’t going to help? We aren’t going to do anything today. We didn’t yesterday.”

“And with that attitude we won’t tomorrow either,” Arthur said under his breath. He was busy looking at his computer screen but out of the corner of his eye he could see Macy stalk up towards his desk in a demanding mood, but feet as quiet as a mouse.

“With that attitude I could report you.” Hushed tones, not pleasant on a scorned woman.

“And I know they wouldn’t believe me when I say that you kissed me first, but I’m willing to go to jail for telling the truth. Macy, we can’t be and you know that. So, you either sit down and do the work I’ve assignment or go talk to _daddy_ about why you aren’t doing the work – telling the entire truth – so I don’t have to see you today. Because to be honest, I don’t think I can see your face without remembering and I’m trying to forget.”

“Why?” School bells were the worse interrupters in the entire history, but Arthur was thankful for this one. “Why are you having such a hard time forgetting? Was it that good?”

“Maybe it was that bad,” Arthur said, leaving the comfort of his chair. “Today you will be doing all of the questions and vocabulary in Chapter 7. It’s due by the end of class tomorrow, since I’m such a nice guy.”

The groans and moans told Arthur that he was hard enough on him, but that also would keep Macy a little bit preoccupied and not with the thing in his pants. He frankly had enough to deal with than a teenage girl who thought she deserved Arthur. However he was sure that Macy didn’t feel the same way and if Merlin of all people found of about the situation hell was going to go down. It was just a bad situation all the way around and to distance himself from any other incident was the best course of action and if that meant punishing his class for her actions (and his reactions) then that was what was going to happen.

“We aren’t done talking about this, Mr. Pendragon,” Macy forced as he sat back down in the rolling chair.

“As far as I am concerned, we are. So if you could please take your seat and begin your work, I would be grateful.”

“We aren’t done,” she stomped off with a huff and a puff.

“We are done as long as I say so,” Arthur said under his breath, knowing that they were far from being over, but hoping so anyways. It was all he could do to keep his relationship with Merlin, his job, and his sanity.

* * *

 

_Merlin, asking me out to lunch. Hmm, maybe I should distance myself. It won’t get help my situation to keep myself near another man._

Morgana hated to admit that she needed help, let alone someone’s touch, whether friendly or not. She had just grown up that way. She grew up with a father who was loving and all around wonderful, but then he was killed. She was only ten, and then she was sent to foster care. It only took a short string of bad foster parents to take what he built up in her and crush it. It didn’t help that she got pregnant from a foster brother before she could leave the system.

“Hey Morgana! You ready for lunch” Rosa asked coming around the other side of a bookshelf.

“Yeah, give me one second. I’ll meet you by the door.”

Rushing to put the last book on the bookshelf, she jogged back to get her purse, promptly running into Merlin. The second time that day they had collided.

“We have to stop meeting like this,” Merlin joked with that laugh of his.

“Yeah, I agree. Now if you will excuse me.” Shortly, heated, annoyed.

“Ouch,” Merlin said, sarcastically to Morgana’s surprise.

“Sorry, I just, thinking makes me angry.”

“Maybe you should think less than.”

Merlin smiled. And all was still. How did he do that? Why does he have to smile?

“Morgana!” a shout from the front of the store echoed.

“Coming! I, uh, have to go.”

With a quick grab of her purse behind Merlin, Morgana ran to the front, leaving a still smiling Merlin.

* * *

 

7:29 and Merlin still wasn’t home. Arthur didn’t usually worry this much, but with his “situation” going on he was frantic and on edge. All the time. Even going to the bathroom in own home. But, it was then he heard the door.

“Hey Arthur, how was your day?”

“Aren’t even in the door yet and asking me how my day was?”

“Stressful, got it. Have you had dinner yet?” Merlin asked, slipping his shoes off his feet by his lazily placed bags.

“I guess you could say that.” No answer on dinner meant he wasn't hungry.

Merlin sat down next to Arthur on the couch. TV on, beers in hand, staring off into no-man’s land focusing on the problems that only seemed to be getting worse.

Arthur took a swig of his drink. “I live for nights like this.”


	7. Chapter Seven: Happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur couldn't get over the Macy thing, as hard as he tried. It didn't help that he wasn''t thinking about Merlin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is mostly in Arthur's perspective as I try to elaborate on each situation a little more. Next chapter will probably be more about Morgana as I am excited to get some of her past out.

Arthur's peaceful night didn't do anything to help him. Still on edge, still as aware of his situation as ever. It didn't help that he couldn't forget the kiss, as much as he wanted to. Macy was right, the kiss was good. _Merlin never kisses me like that, not since we started dating._ Never mind the fact that everything Arthur ever did was for other people. Of course he wanted to be with Merlin, wanted to play soccer, wanted to teach; but Merlin needed someone to look after him, the team needed him, and the kids needed someone who loved to teach them. What has Arthur ever done for himself? Kissing Macy felt like the first thing he had done for himself in a long time, as wrong as it was.

Despite the wrongness of the entire thing, Arthur wanted to do it again. Just to see if it was the same. Not that he would admit it out loud, to anyone, or written down. That would get him in trouble, far more than he was probably already in. The girl, though not much younger than he, was a minor and it is not okay.

"Goodmorning," kids said as they piled into class. All except Macy.

"Goodmorning Macy," Arthur said with hopefully no implications in voice.

"Yeah whatever." No eyelash batting, no smile, no care. Arthur should be thankful but somehow it made it worse.

"Well class, you worked hard yesterday, or so we will say, so I'm thinking watching another movie. This time just on Netflix so you guys don't miss another half day of school."

"But come on Mr. Pendragon, missing school is the coolest thing to do. Plus, it's almost the end of the year, we aren't doing anything anyways!" Jason, on the back row yelled out.

"I can't afford to miss my other classes today though," Arthur tried to explain.

"They aren't as cool as this class though," another kid near Jason stated.

"True, but this class isn't my only class and I can't treat you like that. So Netflix or free day it is."

"Why not both?" Macy nonchalantly said.

"Macy's smart, why not both?"

"I guess both is fine with me. I'll be grading endless stacks of papers. Someone pick a movie. Don't be loud, blah blah blah."

Arthur sat down. It didn't take long into his teaching career before he realized that he was the passive teacher. He didn't let the classes control him, he just simply figured that a class that learned at it's own pace was a more successful class than one that had strict guidelines. Growing up under his father taught him that.

Halfway through the papers, he reached a letter, something he didn't assign.

_**Dear Arthur, Mr. Pendragon,** _

_**I know it will be a couple of weeks before you read this letter because let's face it you are horrible at grading papers on time. But, it is important that you know this before the end of the school year.** _

_**I have waited all year to get up the nerve to say this, so please don't laugh in my face. I know I come across as strong, popular, independent, but this has taken every ounce of my courage.** _

_**Arthur Pendragon, I love you. Not because you are attractive, but because your brain is smart and active, you are active, you don't want to be stuck in this town forever, and because you don't know how to get out. But I do. Walk. Run. Drive. Fly. I love you because you know how to put a picture into words, how to turn "I love you" into a poem without using those words. Because I can't stop and I don't want to.** _

_**I know we have an age difference, and I know teacher/student relationships are frowned upon, but soon I won't be one. Soon I can leave, and come back, and be with you. School only lasts sixteen years, but happiness can last forever. Tell me you are happy with what's-his-name. Tell me you want to marry him. Tell me you don't want kids, you don't want your dad to be proud, you don't want to be free. Tell me and I'll stop. Hopefully, you know how I can be. Tell me and I'll leave and not come back. I'll stay if you want, but trust me when I say my feelings will last forever. You could send me away and I'd still run back like a dog.** _

_**Don’t forget to be happy, Arthur.** _

_**Macy** _

Without much thought, Arthur reread and reread the letter. Weeks had gone by since she had written that letter, and yet two days ago it seemed like she had all the courage in the world. Maybe it was a joke? Maybe it was fake? Maybe it was a ploy to get Arthur in trouble? _Maybe she really does love me._

But, before class was over, Arthur knew what to do.

"Before you guys leave today, I'm going to hand back some graded papers. So don't run out like you have somewhere to be."

Stacks of papers, a stack for each kid. After that was done, he carefully placed a letter of his own (written on the back of Macy's letter), in the middle of her stack. No hurtful words, no denying anything, no saying no. Simply saying to meet him after school. Simple enough. Enough to get him thrown in jail, but simple. 

* * *

Arthur had thought long and hard all day. He still didn't know whether or not he was going to say "get the hell away from me" or "stay." If he was right, he would say to go. But, thinking about Macy and then thinking about Merlin were too different things. In fact, he hadn't thought about Merlin at all.

_Shit, I have to text Merlin._ Arthur was sitting in the diner that was his and Merlin's favorite spot. Oddly enough, it was on the other side of town from Merlin's bookstore, so he thought it would have been the perfect place to meet Macy.

Speaking of her, just as he was texting, a plop and a bang brought Arthur to his surroundings and she was there. Across from him. Actually looking more pissed than he thought she would be.

"If you are going to tell me to go away, it won't work. I've thought about it a lot since I wrote it and I won't leave. I have so much more to offer than your boyfriend."

"Macy-"

"No listen. You weren't meant to be with him forever and you know it. This isn't about sexuality and it being wrong or whatever or kids or anything. It's about you and me. Being together. You may not think it right for us to be together, but it is. Trust me. Once you get to know me outside of school you will love me just as much as I love you."

"Macy-"

"Don't say no. Please."

Arthur couldn't compete with it. She had laid her heart out and she wasn't giving him the chance to. It would be so easy for her to start a new relationship, but Arthur had everything with Merlin. The apartment was in their name, the cars were in their name. It was "Arthur and Merlin" not "Arthur" and it hadn't been for a long time.

"I didn't ask you to meet me here to say no."

"So, it's a yes then?"

"This wasn't a 'do you like me, check yes or no' letter Macy. It was "give it time and we can be together forever."

"Essentially it was a yes or no question," Macy explained, handling a cup of coffee that magically appeared before them.

"Essentially it's asking me to leave everything behind and start new with you and you know that it’s a lot more difficult than that."

"It isn't really."

"I've been with Merlin for longer than you've been in high school, Macy. I can't just pick up and leave. Not with you, not now."

"So, are you saying you won't leave with me, or not right now."

Arthur didn't know, he didn't want to know, he didn't want to think. He wanted to be home, asleep, showering, mindlessly watching tv. Anywhere but here, where thinking was the only thing he had.

"Arthur, if I can call you that, all I have to say is I love you. I love you more than the sun loves the moon. It won't stop and it won't go away. Trust me, I've tried. I have had countless boyfriends this year but none of them stopped me from liking you. You haven't had the time I have had to process this. You didn't know you like me-"

"I never said I liked you."

"You wouldn't be here if you didn't." Quick on her feet, Macy was right. If Arthur had without a doubt hated Macy he would have left the note alone. Ripped it up, thrown it away, and kept his dignity and soul intact. Instead he was here, wondering how to escape.

"I love Merlin."

"You will always love Merlin, but that doesn't mean you and I aren't meant to be together."

"It means I love Merlin. Macy, you are smart and pretty-"

"Thank you."

"But I can't date a student. I can't date, I'm taken, and I'm happy. I'll be honest, I've thought about it, hard, but that doesn't change the fact that it isn't right. You wanted to be sure I was happy, and I am."

"Look me in the eye and tell me that again."

"Tell you what again?" He thought he had been looking in her eyes, but they reminded him of Merlin and it reminded him that he shouldn’t be here, he shouldn't be looking in her eyes to begin with. Pools and rays of blue.

"That you are happy." He wasn't. He was. He was okay, not happy, just okay. Stuck in a routine. He couldn't lie, she would know.

"I'm okay."

"Then say yes."

"No."

"Why?"

_Merlin_. "I can't."

"Why?"

_Merlin, Merlin, Merlin. The law. The principal. Merlin. His life with Merlin._

"I'm afraid."

"Think about that the next time you jump, and see if the jump is worth it."

And that was that. Macy got her stuff and walked out. No goodbye, no final decision. Just wise words, like she was Gandhi or something. When she walked out, the only thing he could think of was the feel of her lips on his. Maybe this is what it’s like to feel happiness.

 

* * *

Merlin was just leaving for a late lunch when his phone went off.

_Oh, a text from Arthur._

_ Hey Macy, I'll be a little bit late tonight. Staying late at work. See you later! Love you! _


End file.
